Eight signs you might be a clinical psychologist

The following criteria for the newly proposed disorder "being a clinical psychologist" have been leaked from the early planning discussions for the DSM-6. They are subject to revision and the committee in charge is apparently still taking suggestions:

DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA:

A. On hearing an acronym like VAT you assume that someone has devised a new form of therapy.

B. When someone is referred to as "dynamic" you expect them to wear tweed and smoke a pipe.

C. You are extremely concerned about issues of power in healthcare, but you couldn't wait to get "doctor" into your social media profile.

D. The worst public denunciation you can imagine giving of something is to say that it is "very concerning."

E. You own (and have read) at least three books from list 1. and you own (but have not read) at least one book from list 2.

1.
Oliver Sacks - The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat
Irving Yalom - Love's Executioner
Victor Frankl - Man's Search For Meaning
Kay Redfield Jamison - An Unquiet Mind
Norman Doidge - The Brain that Changes Itself
Anything by Jon Kabat-Zinn

2.
Judith Beck - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy: Basics and Beyond
Muriel Lezak - Neuropsychological Assessment
RD Laing - The Divided Self
Carl Rogers - On Becoming a Person
Anything by Sigmund Freud

F. You long to be referred to by someone else as a "geek."

G. You have an unusually intimate knowledge of the surface of raisins.

H. You use the following words or phrases with approximately 46 times their average frequency in ordinary human speech: "narrative"; "coping"; "psychoeducation"; "third wave"